Ready, Set, Go

I had a phone interview at 2 pm . So, since my mother is awesome, I was pulled out of school early and spent an hour pacing my kitchen, shaking and not knowing what to expect.

The phone rang. 

And it began. I couldn't tell you their exact questions, or my exact answers, even if I wanted to remember. Although my mom afterwards said I sounded confident, I must say I felt anything but. Some of my answers took me a while to actually come out. They asked some difficult questions, and I had never been good at coming up with good answers on the spot. So, embarrassed as I am to say it, I did actually ask them to just hang on for a bit as I thought of answers. I know my voice faltered more as I became consumed with my own lack of confidence, however I pulled through in the end and felt like I did a reasonable job. 

There was only one problem. It was January. They gave out final results "sometime in March". 

And the waiting began. 

••••

Those next two months were torture. Day after day, month after month of waiting for that final email. 

And on a boring March day, I got it. And I made it. Looking back, I only waited 5 months to get the news, but it seemed like 5 years. I found out at school, knowing the semi-finalists would get the results that afternoon I impatiently waited for lunch, ran to the library where I could access my email, and, with my friends behind me, I shakily clicked on the email from the program. 

I didn't take time to prep myself then, like you read in the books. I didn't have a personal reflection moment to think "What happens if I don't make it?" with closed eyes and a deep breath. No, I opened the message with a smash of my finger that hurt, and hastily my eyes consumed the words before me. 

"Congratulations, Marissa..."

I didn't need to read the rest. Not then, anyway. Only half processed the information, I think I logged out and walked trace-like out of the library, friends following behind wondering what had happened but too afraid of me receiving rejection to say anything. ... Okay, actually, I ran. As soon as I hit the hall, I booked it towards the outside where I could call my mom with the news. 

"I made it."

"... What?"

"I'm going to Azerbaijan."

And with that, a huge grin spread across my face. It was actually coming true. My ultimate dream, anyone's ultimate dream, of going across the world to host families and culture and adventure for free. And at that moment, I realized how destroyed I would've been, how disappointed I would've felt, if I didn't make it. 

And then came the waiting to leave. Getting shots, new glasses and clothes- it was really exciting. I was able to tell people of my amazing summer plans and see the awe in their faces as I explained where Azerbaijan was. I read mountains of information, put their national flag as my screensaver, and later became friends with some amazing people I knew could easily become my best friends. I got my host family assignment, with a family outside the program, and I wondered what they would be like.  

And this is where my story really begins. Today, I traveled to Washington DC, my first time anywhere farther east than Michigan, on the pre-orientation for Azerbaijan. The real story begins now.